It's January 256th.
what a year it's been!
Honestly, where do I start??
How about a funny little TMI story to get us started…
There is a video going round the meno-sphere (menopause internet) of Ellie Taylor (you may recognize her as Sassy from Ted Lasso) winning Celebrity Gladiators in the UK and thanking her pelvic floor (click the IG post below). I am SO here for women doing bad-ass things AND acknowledging the bodies that help them do said things.
Last night, however, my own pelvic floor betrayed me in the worst possible way.
Yes, dear reader, in a fit of coughing that turned to uncontrollable laughter, compounded by the fact that I had been sitting on the couch for two hours with my husband watching Shrinking, I fully pissed my pants!
I’m not talking a little bit of pee. This was not a bit of a squirt that a quick kegel could have stopped. Oh no, this was an “OMG, I AM PEEING MY PANTS AND CAN’T STOP IT!”, followed by my husband’s panicked, “GET OFF THE COUCH, GET OFF THE COUCH, GET OFF THE COUCH! I fell rather ungracefully to the floor, and as it happens when the most ridiculous thing is befalling someone,
I COULDN’T STOP EITHER THE LAUGHING OR THE PEEING!!
My husband, horrified, but also doubled over laughing (which wasn’t helping the situation), eventually grabbed a towel to hold to my crotch while I tried to engage my poor pelvic floor and stop the flow. Picture it… me half bent over, with my legs firmly glued together, my husband holding a YELLOW towel under my ass as I tried to crawl-walk-shuffle from the living room to our bathroom shower. We had to stop every few feet because another wave of scream-laugh-crying would hit both of us and overwhelm my already capitulated pelvic floor and release more pee.
My daughter came out of her room and immediately turned back around once she saw the banality of what was happening, but not before telling me it was a good thing I was going to a pelvic floor workshop. When I told her that I had ALREADY attended the workshop last weekend, she dryly commented,
“Obviously you didn’t learn anything.” Fucking teenagers man.
I eventually made it to the shower, stripped and still had MORE pee to let out. One the one hand, yay for me staying on top of my hydration, but geez, lesson learned about taking a break from binge-watching to go to the bathroom! Also, my kid isn’t wrong, I really should review the after-class notes from my pelvic floor workshop (which I highly recommend everyone take when Antidote Movement Club offers it again, if only to understand which muscles have betrayed you if/when you too completely lose it and piss yourself!)
As ridiculous as the whole thing was, after the rather disgusting week we’ve all just had to witness, I really needed to LAUGH uncontrollably and with my whole body. The stress relief and release of all the fluids in my body - tears, snot, and yup, pee too, actually worked and last night was the first time all week I actually slept all the way till morning without having any dystopian nightmare dreams.
Mission (as embarrassing and absurd as it was) accomplished!
***
January really has felt like the longest month ever. A whole lot of shit went down in a very short amount of time and I don’t know about you, but I feel like I haven’t even had a chance to look up or take a deep breath.
Our Prime Minister resigned on January 6th and I had very mixed feelings about it. I would like to take this opportunity to publicly thank Justin Trudeau for all he did as our country’s leader in what were arguably some of the most challenging years of our lifetime. He tackled child poverty, climate change, and Indigenous reconciliation in Canada. He gave us gender-parity in cabinet for the first time ever, he brought us through a global pandemic with empathy and compassion, addressed affordable childcare across the country, and gave us a national dental care program. Sure his government never had a balanced budget, and our politics have never been more divisive, but please—money is basically a made-up thing, and these unprecedented divisive times are also a construct of a far-right movement that we’ve all played right in to. Also, I chuckle at all the F-Trudeau bros who’ve made that their whole identity and now have to get new bumper stickers made.
Speaking of which…
Last Thursday, I had the privilege of attending Mark Carney’s announcement as contender for the leader of the Liberal Party. We all knew the writing was on the wall after seeing his interview on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart. In my opinion, Mark has the heart, the smarts and the international experience and reputation to take us through the coming years of whatever the fuck is happening both here at home and south of our border.
And listen, I know everyone and their dog is saying that Pierre Polievre and the Conservatives are an inevitability for our next federal election, but I would like to draw your attention to the latest EKOS polling (see below). In less than a month, the Liberals have jumped back up over the 30-point mark and are now sitting at 32—only 7 points behind the Conservatives (and not the 20+ pts that they have been for almost two years).
So PLEASE, for the love of all you hold dear (and I do hope Canada is one of those things), do a few things for me:
Register as a member of the Liberal party so that you can vote in the leadership race (You have less than 48 hours to get your registration in and it is FREE.) I won’t tell you who to vote for, but you know where my vote is going.
Don’t give up! Stay informed, and involved, and talk to all everyone about this! Let them know that NOTHING is a done deal and all is not lost. I believe in a Canada that is united, and strong, and that stands up to bullies and I hope you do too.
VOTE! (I mean duh, but still - this is your reminder to make sure your voter registration is up to date and you are good to go when that election gets called.)
***
I don’t feel the need to regurgitate all the awful, grotesque, wannabe-Gilead-dumbfuckery that has been going on this week in the USofA (seriously, did you SEE what particular monochrome colour Ivanna was wearing??).
Instead, keep reading below for a few things that have lifted my heart and my head and given me hope:
Read this essay from
at The Braid about LA, the fires, David Lynch and freeways. I dare you not to see the city through her eyes and fall in love with Los Angeles no matter where you are from.And this one from Garrett Bucks of
. I didn’t know we would have a person of the year so early on in 2025, but here we are, blessed with the Right Reverend Dr. Mariann Edgar Budde. May we all take some inspiration from the merciful and wise Bishop and speak calmly, directly and unapologetically to the demagogues we are facing.Listen to Black Women. Especially Dr. Brittney Cooper from
.
And when all else fails, go get yourself a pretty new 2025 planner to put in all your organizing, rallying, vote-getting-out, community-building and community-caring in (preferably from a locally-owned small business in your neck of the woods-mine is from Audrey’s Books here in YEG).
Love and strength to you all my friends,
N~
Hahaha from the woman who skied bumps yesterday praying her pelvic floor did not drop!